Serial Swillers - January 14, 2007

(Reconditioning Batteries)

For those of you who missed it; you are stupid.

The book signing slash art show at the in Burbank was a smash hit. Some highlights -

~ Tucker, Bunny and I were drunk. Inappropriately drunk. We brought two cases of beer. To an art gallery. And we finished them both.

~The Hyaena Gallery is fucking amazing, and the owner, Bill, is one of the coolest motherfucker's around. They have books and prints and paintings. Oh yeah, and original artwork from famous serial killers.

I shit you not - this is a piece of work that John Wayne Gacy made in his prison art program. Apparently, John made a stencil of himself and made about 200 of these, which left the prison and fell into the hands of collectors. Unfortunately, a ton of them also fell into the hands of Christian fundamentalists who burned them, so nobody knows how many of them are still in existence. The painting above was hanging behind the register, and we couldn't help but gawk at it all night. Bunny and I decided that we are going to heavily decorate both of our apartments with shit from the Hyaena Gallery. If you are into subversive culture at all, I highly recommend that you go to this place.

~ Jim Wirt, author of Coloring Book Land, signed and sold a bunch of books. The turnout was great, but not as great as the hilarious plaid suit he was wearing. It reminded me of a sofa in my grandparent's basement.

~ Bill brought me over to his computer to show me a picture. It was of him in a clown suit. Not just any regular clown suit - it was the real deal John Wayne Gacy clown suit that he wore while raping and killing children. I didn't even know what to say, except for that Bill might be the most heavy metal dude in existance. "Yeah, there was some blood spatter on the front of it still. Actually, there was some on the back, too." Holy. Shit. *metal horns*

~ Some scenester Asian girl was giving Tucker a hard time. He called me over to him and asked me how the hell she could possibly giving him attitude the way she was dressed; gold teeth, red lumberjack flannel shirt and a bejeweled brass knuckle necklace. I called her the Taiwanese Al Borland, and then I gave her the Asian winky peace sign and screamed "TANK YOU FO WATCHING TOOR TIME, ROUND EYE!!!" I think she left after that.

~ When the gallery closed, we all packed into Bunny's car and went to some Armenian bar in her neighborhood. It was like the bar in Star Wars, I swear to God. In proper Bunny birthday fashion, she and some lesbian girl from the signing were making out on one of the couches, drawing the slack jawed attention of every Arsham and Arwen in the place. About five minutes later, we heard a few of them say "bring lesbians to after party. BRING WHITE LESBIANS TO AFTERPARTY!" We went back to Bunny's place after that and I passed the fuck out with both of her dogs on top of me. Correction - I tried to sleep while dealing with sapphic moaning coming from Bunny's bedroom and the nonsensical drivel drooling out of the mouth of the escaped mental patient that Tucker brought home.

EDIT: I am in the middle of putting together a brand new Myspace Loser/Slut of the Week for next few days, so stay tuned.

Posted by KungFu Mike at 8:24 PM

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I've seen that clown pic before. My friends and I met this couple who used to run the "Museum of Death" at a bar in LA and ended up going over to their place. They had this pic along with a few other by death row artists, and various preserved body parts (mummified head of a french serial killer guillotined in the 20's). Freaky place to spend the night, but it's not a great story because no one died.

Posted by: matt at January 18, 2007 09:09 PM

Judging by John Wayne Gracy's art talent, I think he should just stick to what he's good at. Which would be raping and murdering young boys.

Posted by: Aubrey at January 30, 2007 07:37 AM

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