Fall.com - March 7, 2007

(Reconditioning Batteries)

I just received this from an anonymous contributor via email. I don't mean to dwell on either of the "people" spotlighted in the following piece, but I thought that it was so funny that it needed to be posted.

If you are new here, read this before proceeding.

I just thought of something funny. You should write a script called
"Fall.com" starring Eric Schaeffer as "Namaste_in_my_basement" and Tila
Tequila "SuckySucky69." Feel free to add as you please.

NMB: Hi there, saw your profile and I think you're really cute.
NMB: I'm a big movie star!
SS69: For realz? Ur lying.
NMB: Ever heard of "Fall?"
SS69: No
NMB: "If Lucy Fell?"
SS69: No
NMB: "Mind the Gap?"
SS69: No
NMB: "Wirey Spindell?"
SS69: No
NMB: "Starved?"
SS69: I could go for an ephedra shake. U live in LA?
NMB: I can if you want.
SS69: Wanna see my pics?
NMB: I already jerked...I mean I saw them already.
SS69: I make music!
NMB: Really?
SS69: Yep! Ever heard of ""I Love U?"
SS69: "Knock U Out?"
SS69: "Whattup?"
SS69: "Paralyze?"
SS69: "Carz?"
SS69: "Mary Jane"
NMB: Wait, you don't do drugs do you? Because if you drink or do drugs
I'll have to pass major judgment on you so that I can feel better
about the fact that I'm a perverted, manorexic jackass.
SS69: Huh? Yo, ur smart.
NMB: Perfect.
SS69: Wanna see my tits?
NMB: Yes. Where do you live?
SS69: Weho. I thought u were in Ny?
NMB: Not anymore. I'll see you in four hours. Five if there's a
layover or something. Have organic cookies waiting for me. Do you like
CK One? Let's talk about me. I like yoga, cookies, myself, snowflakes,
me, lunch in Paris on a whim, subjugating women, me, rods up my cock,
SS69: Hello?
NMB:...I'm talking here...honesty, denial, sports center, me, making
love in candlelight, being fucked in all my holes, me, did I say
SS69: ?
NMB: I think I did. I'm hard and soft, but mostly hard. I'm a man and
a boy. Crazy and sane. Pathological and dangerous. Thoughtful, polite
and attentive...
SS69: Hello?
NMB: What! God, you're really selfish.
SS69: ? What did I do, yo?
NMB: It's just that I was talking there, and you so rudely interrupted me.
NMB: SuckySucky?
NMB: Hello? You should apologize?
NMB: Sucky?

--SuckySucky69 has left the chat room--

Posted by KungFu Mike at 9:01 PM

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Posted by: AliciaLovesEric at March 9, 2007 12:24 PM

That was thoroughly underwhelming.

KungFu Mike EDIT: Ladies and gentleman...Eric Schaeffer!

Posted by: Anonymous at March 9, 2007 01:00 PM

I laughed : D

Posted by: Wayland at March 10, 2007 11:57 AM

That was hilarious. You have talent for dialogue.

Posted by: Anonymous at March 10, 2007 03:48 PM


Posted by: tmjordan02 at March 11, 2007 09:18 AM

Owned IMO.

Posted by: Anonymous at March 11, 2007 11:32 PM

Here's something that Eric "Namaste" Schaeffer should definitely read:

Posted by: Jahed at March 25, 2007 01:31 AM

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