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Death Shroud Hijinx - June 9, 2007

(Reconditioning Batteries)

I spent a good chunk of the morning lying on a couch in my living room and watching that Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School show on VH1. At one point I started to doze off, and right before I did, I grabbed a pastel knit blanket that was folded up on top of the couch and snuggled up in it.

I woke up to the sound of the front door shutting. My friend and roommate Seth had just come back from having lunch with his girlfriend.

Me: "Hey, what's up, man?"

Seth: "Not much. You like that blanket, huh."

Me: "Yeah, it does the trick, I suppose."

Seth: "You do know that my girlfriend's mother died while wrapped up in that thing, right?"

Me: "..."

I slowly stood up, gathered the things from my pockets that I had placed on the coffee table and set the blanket on the back of the couch.

Seth: (Laughing)

Me:
"...what the fuck is wrong with you people. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING FUNNY ABOUT THIS. HOW FUCKING MALADJUSTED ARE YOU AS A COUPLE THAT YOU HAVE THIS JUST INNOCENTLY LAYING HERE ON THE COUCH?! FUCKING SHIT, SETH. SERIOUSLY."

Seth: "Dude, it's just a blanket."

Me: "IT'S NOT JUST A BLANKET, SETH. SOMEONE FUCKING DIED IN IT. IT'S A DEATH SHROUD. I WAS JUST TAKING A NAP WITH SOMEONE'S DEATH SHROUD."

I stormed out of the room and immediately jumped in the shower, where I spent 30 minutes frantically mumbling to myself about the situation and scrubbing my body red.

Posted by KungFu Mike at 12:46 PM

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If it's good enough for a dead chick, it's good enough for me.

Posted by: Jake at July 5, 2007 09:32 AM

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