Day 6; Staring a Boring Weekend in the Face - October 26, 2007

(Reconditioning Batteries)

Insomnia is slowly beating me into submission with a sledgehammer wrapped in a lullaby. During the day I barely have any cravings, but come bedtime I am waking up every hour on the hour, covered in sweat clawing my eyes out for a cigarette. I've stepped up my exercising and I'm doing everything in my power to make sure that I stay asleep when I fall asleep, but nothing works. I guess I'll just have to fidget through the midnight cravings until they dissipate.

The anti-suicide kit that I've put together is a Godsend. I grabbed a slide lock plastic bag and stuffed with the necessities: Gum, hard candy, Excedrin and my inhaler. I bring this with me everywhere I go and it's really come in handy, especially when I'm hanging out with current smokers. It's also fun to hear your friends say "Yeah, just put your beer next to Mike's delicate little fiend purse." Thanks. That helps.

I'm now running 4 miles a day; 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening. It feels like it's getting harder and harder to run instead of easier. After doing a little self analysis, I discovered why: I was starting to run faster and with a better form every time I went out, but I was so used to shallow breathing that I was not taking advantage of the extra oxygen my body could now intake to keep up that pace. I actually had to sit down for a minute like Orson Welles without a Hoveround today after my two miles because I was seeing stars. That did wonders for my sense of masculinity.

I've taken the recommendation to eat a lot of hot foods (temperature wise) in order to help break the 12 year accumulation of shit in my chest. Because of this, I now have what I like to call a soup fetish. I eat so much fucking soup it's ridiculous. My cupboards look like the pantry of Shady Elms Nursing Home; every type of canned soup and soup mix in every brand. As we speak, I have a giant pot of homemade chicken soup that I am making from scratch simmering away on the stove. I will eat soup for every meal of the day, and I'm half expecting the Intervention cameras to be at my house when I come home one of these days.

I've noticed that my skin is starting to look a lot clearer and feel more healthy, and my face actually looks thinner. I think it's from my haggard sinus cavities beginning to drain now that they no longer have to protect my face from the perpetual salvo of smoky Patriot missiles that I was sending their way. Because of this, my nose is like a faucet and I have a post nasal drip that is making me cough like I just escaped the Oklahoma City bombing. I'm definitely looking forward to being able to better taste and smell things. Ladies, make sure you wash extra well before you come over because I'm going to have olefactories like a fucking fruit bat and it ain't low tide at the pier at Casa de KungFu.

Here's to a smoke free, booze free, coffee free weekend...Jesus Christ that sounds boring. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DELICATE LITTLE FIEND PURSE?!

Posted by KungFu Mike at 1:53 PM

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you really need to face-douche. fo real, look up nasopure. yes, it feels so awful during, but soooo good after. (you know, the reverse of most things you do.)

Posted by: kate at October 27, 2007 01:44 AM

did you use that "linkman smoking cessation device" thing that's advertised on your blog? I can't imagine it being worth $100.

actually, it would be really cool if you listed some smoking cessation tips/tricks you've been getting and rated them. just a suggestion.

Posted by: Anonymous at October 29, 2007 01:17 AM

Good luck man, your almost over the hump.

I have Bronchitis, but I still can't stop smoking. It feels like someone has a vacuum extension inside my lungs, and I still can't kick the 8 year old habit. Fucking tough man, it really is.

I'm trying again next week. I plan on getting fake cigarettes, to kill the hand to mouth craving. I heard they work wonders for that specific part of the quitting process.

Posted by: Common Street Trash at October 29, 2007 04:27 PM

I picked up smoking as a nasty solid habit freshman year of college, even though I'd tried it off/on through high school, so I've been a habitual smoker now for...6-7 years. I was doing a solid pack to 1.5 a day through most of college, so I feel safe to say that I was just addicted as you.

due to the nature of my job, I can't really go outside and take a smoke break every hour, so that's really good, but I haven't been able to find any cure-all other than pure will power, which I don't have enough of. But my one piece of advice is this - don't negotiate or settle or break some rule. Don't go with the excuse of "I'm not in my home state, smoking out of state doesn't count"

The instant that I allowed myself even one excuse, the cards fell from there. Next thing you know, its the same routine again, one in the car, 3 at lunch, one in the car, 2 at home, a shitload when drinking...you get the idea.

I've heard some people report success with that pill Chantix, but it's pricey. One friend it worked, another friend it didn't, so I don't know what to tell you.

But keep running. At least you can feel all the physical benefits of not-smoking more than a lazy-ass desk jockey like me.

Best of luck.


Posted by: Paul at October 30, 2007 01:16 PM

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