Day 5; Barely Alive - October 25, 2007

(Reconditioning Batteries)

The good news = I got wasted last night and I didn't smoke one cigarette.

The bad news = I did take two drags off of a cigarette when nobody was looking.

The good news = Those two drags made me sick as hell.

The great news = I am so hungover that I won't have another craving for three days.

I decided to experiment with drinking during my quitting process last night at a pumpkin carving party for three reasons; there isn't a snowball's chance between Rosie O'Donnell's corduroy clad thighs that I'm ever going to carve a pumpkin sober, I wanted to see how strong my will to quit smoking was in the most extreme situation possible and I knew that if I could get away with getting shitfaced without smoking, that I wouldn't want another smoke for another three days at least from the subsequent hangover. If you know me in real life, you know that my hangovers are borderline diabetic, and even when smoking regularly, I can't even look at a cigarette for a few days after a long night of sippin' on some sizzurp. I knew that it was a little early to be adding booze to the equation last night, but who's kidding who -- coffee is one thing, but how long could I feasibly go without drinking?!.

My pumpkin, the monkey.

Besides my little slip up with the two drags, I spent the night drunk and smoke free. One bad side effect I found regarding drinking during my withdrawal period is that I became very confrontational, and I ended up storming out of the house and going home after an argument with my friends about whether or not the media was over-sensationalizing the southern California wildfires at 4 am. What can I say? I hate modern news coverage.

Was my experiment a success? Absolutely. Now that I am good and hungover, I'll be in my non-smoking car driving down Easy Street for three days at least. Next stop, day 8!

EDIT: Please feel free to leave comments with any kind of tips and tricks to quit smoking that you have picked up along the way. I've been getting a lot of helpful hints via comments and email, and I do try pretty much all of them.

Posted by KungFu Mike at 11:47 AM

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Getting loaded and then drinking some more is a great way to kick off kicking the habit. You get to by-pass the wourst days of the physcial withdrawals. As your aware this is because your body is so mested up from all that awesome booze all your thinking about is girls and if maybe you got beat up when you blacked out the night before. It's also possible a squirrel shit in your mouth before you woke up, but i do know that you are not thinking about cigs. However it's all are nothing when quitting. You are on day one now, but what do i know i apparently have to much free time at work. Also when you first drink without cigs you will find in the morning when you wake up that you have that feeling that you owe someone an apology but you don't know what for. yet.

Posted by: eric at October 25, 2007 01:48 PM

Oh man, I've been smoke free for over two years now... once you make it through the kill-face period, you will never go back to smoking.

Has food started to taste really really good yet?

Posted by: zach retox at October 25, 2007 01:51 PM

I drank ice cold water whenever I had a strong craving. It worked for me.

Posted by: Anonymous at October 25, 2007 02:04 PM

For me, it was a matter of changing the pyschological aspects of smoking. Rather than smoking to kill time, or after meals, or to relieve stress, or because I wanted a cigarette, I had to find a different reason to have a cigarette. Nowadays, I smoke when I drink and maybe one a day, but the point is I don't feel the urge to smoke otherwise, and if I don't want to smoke I don't. There is no heavy addiction involved, there is no feeling of having to smoke. It's smoking for enjoyment as opposed to addiction--unfortunately I do enjoy smoking, so quitting for good may not be in the cards, but I for sure have it under control.

But point is, psychological reason for smoking: change it.

Posted by: dan at October 25, 2007 03:13 PM

The first time I quit [stfu], I found it helpful to cut down drinking straws to roughly cigarette length. Gave the mind the feeling a cigarette was there, thereby satisfying the oral fixation and helping to ease you off the habit of always having something in your mouth.

Or, you could replace the straw with a cock. Figure out what works for you as an individual.

Posted by: Dave at October 25, 2007 04:04 PM

just smoke a ton of pot and you wont care about anything anymore

Posted by: zack at October 25, 2007 05:11 PM

invest in alot of gum -- preferrably sugar free so you won't have another run in with that dentist and his awful staff.

Posted by: at October 25, 2007 05:49 PM

Batting cage / Driving range

Posted by: Charge at October 25, 2007 09:54 PM

Killing whores.

Posted by: John at October 26, 2007 12:58 AM

I'm not a drinker so your ways are different from what I'd do...but I'm also not a smoker, so do I even have the right to say anything about any of this? I'm glad you're doing what you can to quit man. Keep it up. Awesome monkin (monkey-pumpkin?) by the way.

Posted by: Wayland at October 26, 2007 01:12 PM

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