Blowing Fire is Rad - January 7, 2007

(Reconditioning Batteries)

I have nothing good for you to read tonight, but I will have a hilarious new family story up for you jackals tomorrow night, so bear with me and watch this in the interim. Or, you know, go fuck yourself. Either way.

This is a video of my best friend Timmy (Baby's First Birthday from the The Pee Pee Haircut and The Jamaican Clam Bake Debacle ) blowing fire with lamp oil in front of my apartment at three in the morning on a Thursday. He uses all sorts of flammable liquids to do this - lighter fluid, citronella fuel, gasoline...but he never rinses his mouth out when he's done, he just chugs more beer. He is pretty fucking metal. Actually, he is the vocalist for a brutal New England death metal band called . They are really good, and if you go to their shows, you might catch Timmy blowing some fire. You might also catch a foot in your neck from the pit, so stay in the back or wear a motorcycle helmet.


When he was done blowing fire for us, we all walked back into my place to drink some more. I stayed outside to smoke a cigarette. When I was finished, I ran to the stairs, hit a puddle of lamp oil that drooled out of Timmy's mouth and violently yard saled myself all over the sidewalk, shattering my beer and lacerating the back of my head. That sucked. I woke up the next morning to find that the blood had superglued my head to my pillowcase, and I had to bring it in the shower with me to peel it off of my scalp.

Maybe I'm the one that should be wearing that motorcycle helmet.

Posted by KungFu Mike at 10:38 PM

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